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sea of vacuity

by dross

supported by
Joseph Hansen
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Luc Bissonnette
Luc Bissonnette thumbnail
Len van der Wolf
Len van der Wolf thumbnail
Chino
Chino thumbnail
Kevin Heckeler
Kevin Heckeler thumbnail
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1.
this volatile sun 04:29
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time waits for no one so how did it sneak up on me? hope is an illusion so i'll take from you what's been taken from me and now the world comes into focus i open up the sky tear it all asunder watch everything die with a soul crushing gesture i turn you to dust if i tear your eyes out would you blindly trust? my hands hold electricity there's fire in my throat as i've become death you've become smoke and the cinders of all that you thought you believed are a monument forgotten scattered debris how can you find meaning in a hell such as this? this volatile sun burns indifferent and cruel i cast my eyes down on the ruins i've made and expect to feel regretful lost and afraid but my heart fills with pride at this demon i've released cause he looks just like me and my mind is at peace lock your gaze backward and maybe you'll see that the fate you have suffered was the one meant to be for we all are monsters who dehumanize yes we all look like monsters through tired, bitter eyes.
2.
dreamcrusher 04:44
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scraped out irreparably damaged crushed, hollow husk burnt and numb ashes in the storm face down surrender your weapons trapped evaporate into dust faceless in the swarm time to grieve summon the dreamcrusher boot to throat nothing gets out alive disbelieve conjure the deathbringer abandon all your hope you cannot survive this is the end of hope it's time to let go it's the end of the rope you were the only one who could lift me out justifying in my head all the hurtful things we've said drawing lines with empty threats wringing hands and losing bets
3.
parataxic distortion 04:35
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i had a revelation of vacuous proportions the limits of my faith have been tested and i must’ve failed cause the dark won’t take me and the light won’t save me i felt the thin edge of the wedge driven by a sledge split my head down the middle cause i had bets to hedge so i chase what i can’t efface debase what i can’t embrace replace what i can't erase what would it take ? a trail of broken hearts in my wake? a trail of shattered lives for my own sake cause i don’t have time to wait? all those past lives, narratives to make smaller in the rear view disappear from sight the fight, the plight, the truth to overwrite increasingly distant, insignificant embedded in my core and consciously nonexistent how many choices? how many years? how many voices? led you to here? maybe i have poison in my heart maybe i was broken from the start maybe there was nothing left to do but fall apart cause everything is tainted everything is painted everything is pain so i take the bait and overcompensate, conflate mistaking chance for fate distorted vision leads to poor decisions maybe i should find another way so in the interest of my self preservation, i'm switching off metabolize my grief into something i can kill off disposable memories forgettable pleasantries a future that is molded by the pain that has silenced me agonize, antagonize, disguise compartmentalize and organize the lies that i tell to myself otherwise i won’t survive i'm recreating a scene from a vicarious life.
4.
fog of war 06:13
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boldly claimed that you welcome the fall now it seems you're afraid after all nothing seems like the way you recall close your eyes and wish it away how'd you get here and which way is out? did the fruit turn to ash in your mouth? oh how quickly faith turns into doubt shed your tears and wish it away fell down a hole in the fog of this war i fell down a hole... stand and face all the things you had wrong force a smile and pretend to be strong who's to say you weren't lost all along? turn your back and just walk away if you could see inside my heart you'd know just why I came apart i lost my voice and lost my way i felt myself drifting away into a place i thought i'd learned enough about to not return but somewhere deep inside of me a terror waits to be set free and every time it wakes anew the fog rolls in and i stumble through i lost myself and I lost you and everything I thought i knew in the fog.
5.
the slowest death 06:00
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flowing like a river i dip my beak compelled to drink this madness catharsis like no other the ebb and flow of tides a place where dreams expire carry the burden brandish your scars ashes to ashes dust to dust and you'll be forgotten just like us the ebb and flow of tides a place where dreams expire a silent burial death by a thousand cuts these arms are holding smoke oh the high cost of regret i could start again find magic behind unsmoked glass but i plant my feet in the ashes of time cause i'm told that it has meaning i could start again find love from an unbroken heart but my roots run deep and my fear is real cause the grass may all be dead there i could start again find peace somewhere that's not so cold but i dig my grave and i lose my mind cause i know i must still love you.
6.
burden 03:04
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this is your burden name your hunger...oh take a number...oh now fire up the grinder cut down to the wire there's life inside this fire and it wants you inside her the shadows and darkness within you conspire licking their teeth at the depth of your desire.
7.
lest we forget 04:32
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lest we forget what it's like to have less you know it cuts deep but you never really cared cause if you kept on cutting you'd carve the man you need i need all those things that i remember and even the darker ones i don't golden ages, sunk costs lies believed by we, the lost are you an angel or a ghost? lest we forget what it's like to be less cause we all have knives and we all tell lies and we all deny...our worst selves so look yourself in the eye and deny. deny. deny.
8.
asleep in the maelstrom 04:01
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9.
the beginning of the end 01:57
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10.
sea of vacuity 05:03
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drifting gradually instability disappointed disaffected devastated disconnected under lock and key never let them see swimming in the pressure and it's closing in i'm sinking rapidly i don't know who to be desperate desolate discontent this new reality has elasticity justified by what's denied so i decide to die inside my lungs invite the sea yes, i will cease to be debase me erase me replace me detaching from the fantasy returning to reality extricate the parasite you are not a part of me sacrificed integrity i can't forgive what's left of me drowning in a sea of my vacuity how could you? how could i? i know the truth you are a lie a weight i cannot carry a grief i cannot fathom a death that has no meaning a loss that has no end my penalty condemned to be trapped in a sea of vacuity indemnity sentenced to be lost in a sea of vacuity.

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released November 17, 2019

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dross Akron, Ohio

one man band making homegrown heavy music since 1994.

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